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I’ve invested 8 years & unimaginable love, tears, heartbreak, & desperate attempts at heartfelt conversations

I just want to give up on the relationship

Thank you so much for this refreshing article. I just got divorced after 30 years … separated for four. I know it takes two to tango, but I see so much of my ex-spouse in your article. I am single and at peace. ??

I really have issues with the just last one, especially being unable to give genuine answers, i always respond with cliches, how do i work on this? I could really use help in truly knowing what i want.

If you dont know what you want, listen to your heart. Meditation, swimming and long walks help to reconnect with soul. Our generation is overall emotionally inmature as we do not dedicate enough time to stop and listen to ourselves, work on ego issues and patience…

Little too late for me. Second marriage and all these signs were there. Now I’m paying for it, and am living with a roommate instead of a supportive husband.

Roz, me too! Second marriage, & I felt it in my gut but optimistically ignored it, hoping I could “make it work”, regardless. I came with three children from my previous marriage, & together we also had a child. He just couldn’t open up, be vulnerable. He hasn’t touched me in 8 months. It gradually & painfully got to that point,(intimacy anorexia) & now we are roommates, as I figure out how to support my family without him someday. Hurts like hell because I truly loved him, but the resentment from lack of everything grew like a monster. All consuming. I feel you. I wouldn’t wish this on anyone. Sending love.

Your situation sounds similar to mine. Idk what to do, we have a 15 month old. He doesnt do everything in this article but he does at least 4 of them. I’m putting in almost all the work when it comes to emotional stuff and initiating conversations. Just today he was criticizing someone else’s driving jn the car and I told him he doesn’t need to be negative about them and that I thought they were driving fine. He says ” I guess I just won’t talk at all, that’s probably what you want!” ?? I felt guilty tripped. He refuses to talk about it all day. This happens with a lot of things. He doesn’t want to talk unless I’m the one taking some amount of blame. I’m tired of it and now i have a baby and don’t know if I’ll ever be able to just leave because of that. We live like roommates now.

“I told him he doesn’t need to be negative about them” Be careful with that as that is criticism of him for criticising that driver.

I was making the same mistake. Trying to change a family member by criticising them. It is not making it worse as they need their negativity to function. The fact that is would drag my mood down is my own issue.

I now try to tell the younger women to really consider the personality of the one they are claiming to be in love with

Also when they would drive they would be extremely negative about the traffic and curse a lot. If I would drive then I would end up crying after 30min. I just do no longer want to be around such people.

Awakening One ! The content was crisp and clear . I’m sure this will be helpful and reach out to someone or the other . Keep writing . All the best . See you in heights ?